Odd Things

So I've been extremely stressed last few days.

Something odd happened today. While I was sitting on my couch having a nervous breakdown and crying my eyes out, someone brushed my hair back and patted my shoulder. No one was there.

That was the first thing. The second thing was that I found a necklace.

I have a tendency to wear the same jewelry over and over. I love jewelry and I have a quite a collection, but it seems I only wear a few pieces.

Sitting on my desk was a gold chain. Fine, delicate, something that I'd break in an hour if I ever wore it. Something I'd reserve for special occasions only. Yet there it was, laid on my desk.

The third thing has me in tears, frightened, and disturbed.

On my pillow was a gold heart. Also delicate. In the bottom there's a small diamond. The heart is just an outline, not solid, and inside the heart outline were the initials: DJL.

My maiden name is Kara Elizabeth Lovell.

My sister who died several years ago? Dana Jasmine Lovell.

She had a necklace that was a gold chain, delicate, with a heart just like that. She died wearing it.

She was buried wearing it.

No one has been here today but me.

Where'd it come from?

Is Dana here?

Men Are Creeps

The title says it all.

Okay, maybe not all men are creeps, but the ones that aren't, seem to be very few and very far between.

I had to get a restraining order against one of Billy's friends. Apparently, Billy is wanting to keep an eye on me. But rather than hang around himself, he sent one of his jerk friends.

I kept thinking that I saw Jerry, but I wasn't sure. I mean after all, why would he be anywhere near here? He was always too busy kissing up to Billy. But it was him.

I saw him several times on the street, saw him at the store, at the post office and city hall. Saw him just about every I went. It started Monday morning and he was still at it that evening.

Tuesday morning I saw him again - at my apartment. He wanted me to see him! He followed me around for a while and when I went back to my apartment, every time I glanced out the window, there he was!

I finally went out and demanded to know what the hell he thought he was doing. He said Billy had asked him to keep an eye on me. That Billy thought I'd just get into trouble and he didn't want me shacking up with anyone. And whenever I was ready to go crawling home, Billy would happily take me back and Jerry would take me there. He was leering at me, laughing.

I went in and called Billy. He didn't answer, of course.

Tuesday night someone knocked on my door. I peeked out and it was Jerry. He looked kinda drunk.

He kept it up. Kept saying I needed to go home to Billy, come to my senses and get over myself. Finally, after he started trying my door, I called the police. Told them about it, what Jerry was doing, how he wasn't listening to me telling him to leave me alone. They came and picked him up.

Wednesday morning I went to the station to see what I needed to do about getting a restraining order. I just felt like it was the right thing to do. Billy was there, bailing Jerry out. The first thing he did was start yelling and screaming at me. How dare I call the cops on Jerry and get him arrested. Who did I think I was? Calling me names and telling me what a stupid **** I was.

Cops didn't like it. They got the situation under control quickly and he was told to stay away from me.

I have a temporary restraining order and I'll have a permanent one soon. The police are recommending I get one on Billy too when I talk to the judge.

This is such a mess! Why can't he just leave me alone!?

Success

Today was the party. It was a success.

Friday Jennifer came over with the invites she'd made and we took some up to the manager's office and taped a few on the mailboxes. The manager didn't care. He even went so far as to point the invites out to people. He said he thought there were some people who actually would show up. When we checked later, after we got back from the grocery store, most of the invites were gone. So maybe people would show up.

They did. I was really surprised. Apparently the fact that people don't do this kind of thing anymore made it a real novelty and there were quite a few who showed up.

Most of them showed up, ate a little bit, and then went on about their business. We served tortilla chips and a 7-layer dip, chicken wings, cocktail franks and pigs in a blanket, little finger sandwiches, iced tea and lemonade. People liked it.

There were some older people who came who stayed a while to talk. They were really nice and I enjoyed talking with them. They told me about themselves and they told me stories about the neighborhood.

And about my apartment.

They didn't seem to know a whole lot. But they told me enough that I'm thoroughly spooked and Jennifer just left a little while ago. She's got work in the morning.

Seems that many people believe there is an evil spirit here. Hardly anyone lives here for very long before they begin to complain of strange sounds, a presence, sometimes even seeing things. Families have moved in and out in a matter of weeks. That's why the rent was so cheap. Locals would hopefully want the place for the cheap price while those who moved into town, like me, would want it because it was the most affordable place.

The last family who was here had an exorcist come in. The manager didn't like it, but what could he do? There was enough of a problem that an exorcism was approved. It was apparently successful. Even so, the family moved out. Apparently people had been hurt: pushed down the stairs, cabinet doors knocked into their heads, things like that. Stuff disappearing for good or being broken. And so on.

I am the first one to live in this townhouse in 9 months. Since I've been here a while already and haven't run screaming to the manager apparently everything is okay.

After everyone left, Jennifer and I talked about it. I told her about some of the things I've sensed, like the staring. She said that it was possible that I might just be imagining things, especially since I was coming from a very stressful situation and was living on my own for the first time. She also said that it was possible that some kind of residual was here. She said it was like leftover energy and that energy was still doing things that it once did, but couldn't hurt me in any way. And that it would eventually vanish.

I'm not sure what to think, but I am spooked.

I'm glad I found out some things.

Party's On

So, I called my friends and my mom. They all think that it would be an excellent idea. Meet some people, maybe find out about the apartment, hopefully make at least one friend around here.

Melissa and mom both have to work, so they won't be able to make it. The restaurant Melissa works at won't let her off and mom has a prior commitment to the church soup kitchen. But I'm supposed to let them know how it goes.

Jennifer helped me plan. She's going to make up some invites on her computer and bring them over a bit later. We're going to do snacks like finger foods - little desserts, little sandwiches, things like that. Make it more of a brunch thing. We'll have it after church on Sunday, that way people will be able to squeeze it in maybe. She gave me a list of things that I'll need to pick up. I think I'm going to wait until she gets here and make her go to the store with me.

I don't think anyone will show up. People don't really do this kind of thing anymore after all. Even so, I'm feeling really nervous. I'm not going to know what to do or say!

Party Time

So...I am not learning a thing about the supposed haunting in my apartment. It's just not fair. How am I supposed to learn anything if no one will talk?

So...somebody who actually reads my blog suggested that I host a dinner party. Now in all honesty, I hate dinner parties. Billy made me hold them. It was always horrible. I never did anything right.

But maybe...maybe I'll like holding a dinner party if I do it on my own terms. I could invite Melissa and Jessica, maybe even my mom. Serve what I like and how I like it. Not have to make idle chitchat with people who are nasty to me. I think it could possibly be fun.

I'll call the girls and see what they think. Maybe...let's see. Today is Friday so I could hold it Sunday afternoon possibly. That way people would have a bit of time to possibly make plans.

Uh Oh

The staring is back.

I don't see anything staring at me. But it sure feels like someone is. Or something.

Maybe it's just nerves. Yeah. Weird music carrying on the wind, the nightmares, having to deal with Billy trying to get out of alimony and trying to set up a new job.

Yeah. Just nerves. Maybe I should get a cat. Then if I feel like something's staring at me, it's the cat.

Just nerves.

Not a Thing

So far, I've not learned a thing.

It's kinda hard to bring up a possibly haunted apartment among a bunch of people who are pretty much strangers. They ask about work, family, things like that. Though I have had a couple who looked at me strange and then quickly excused themselves. Maybe haunted apartments are contagious.

Working

Getting a few online job offers. We'll see. I hope things are going to work out. Really, it would be great. I could work from home when I feel like, go out and socialize, but when I'm not feeling well (depressed, etc) then I don't have to worry about trying to seem like nothing is wrong.

I went to the library to fax some things off for a couple of places. The older lady who was telling me something was wrong with my apartment wasn't there.

I may approach this as an assignment. Maybe turn it into an article. Or maybe I'll end up writing a book about local ghost stories! Who knows? But I might be able to get more people to talk to me if they know what I do. We'll see.

I need to catch some neighbors and talk to them and see if anyone can tell me anything.

I'm Disturbed

I keep hearing something really creepy. It started about 11 PM and it's still going.

I keep hearing music from a child's toy. It sounds like it's right on my back porch. There's no toys there. There's no kids there. Just every so often it sounds like someone hitting the button on one of those toys.

No one lives in the apartments on either side. The people in the other one, G7, is an older couple who not only don't have kids, are on vacation with friends. I know because they offered to bring me a souvenir to help make me feel at home. So I'm essentially all alone in this building.

I ignored it the first time, until I realized what time it was. Then I was worried there was some little kid on my back porch that was lost or something. I turned the back light on, looked out, and nothing was there.

So I figured it was from another building, just was carrying funny. But still, seemed odd for someone's child to be out that late at night. But maybe someone's kid wasn't sleeping and the parents had them outside for a breath of fresh air.

Then a little while later I head it again. And again. And again. I checked again and saw nothing. I even went outside and looked around. I walked all the way up to the building next to mine and no one was outside.

I went back inside and as I closed the door and locked it, I heard the music again, coming right from my back porch. I turned on the light and looked out the window again. Nothing there but I could still hear it! I shut the light off, still heard it.

It's still playing off and on. I'm not checking again just to see nothing there!

I actually have a couple of readers and a comment! Wow! Thanks for reading! Don't worry. I'll remind myself that dreams are just that - dreams.

Nightmares

Had a terrible dream last night.

I'm 29. I've been divorced now about six months. But it's been about a year and a half since I had a miscarriage.

When I was dating Billy, everyone was happy. He was wonderful. A total dream. The perfect man. When we got married, things started to change. He was getting more and more controlling. He'd call my clients' offices wanting to know if I was there, just to know where I was. Any dinner meeting or even a lunch meeting ended up with us in an explosive argument. He criticized my weight, what I ate, what I wore, how my hair and makeup was done, how I slept or spoke or breathed. He even criticized how long I showered. It was horrible.

Worst part is, at first no one believed me.

You see, I've got a history of mental problems. Depression mostly. Anxiety. Survivor's guilt. A touch of paranoia.

My sister, Dana....when I was 17 and her 23 we went to a party. She drank too much but I didn't realize it. Dana had a drinking problem and the only people who suspected were the two girls she shared an apartment with at college. She lost control of the car and we crashed. Long story short - I lived, she didn't.

I blamed myself. Sometimes I still do. I was her sister, her best friend. I should have known. But I didn't. For a long time I felt like I'd failed her. Not so much now, though sometimes it's still hard.

I ended up on medication and in the hospital for a while. So when Billy started being a bastard, I found out he was telling people I was having problems again. That I was saying things I didn't mean, things like that. So people believed him over me.

When I found out I was pregnant I was delighted. Billy, not so much. He got worse. And when I miscarried, he told me he was relieved.

Everyone tells me that things like miscarrying just happen. I blame Billy. I did then and I still do. The stress, the fear, the upset. It's his fault. But maybe it's for the best. It might have been harder to leave then. And maybe I'll get a chance again in the future.

My friends began to dwindle. No one listened to me. My mother did, because she said it wasn't like when I was having problems. Melissa and Jennifer did. They even hid a nannycam and tape recorder to catch him doing his yelling, screaming, cursing, hitting everything but me bit. It proved to be excellent help in court because he had so many people vouching for him.

I had friends telling me it was in my head. No way could someone as perfect as Billy act like that. One even told me to just learn to deal with it - he's a lawyer after all and rich. So, I have Jennifer, Melissa, and Mom. That's all I need.

The nightmare...I dreamed I woke up because someone kicked in the door. It was Billy, and he came after me with a butcher knife. I woke up screaming, expecting to find blood all over. It was just a dream, but now I'm up for the day. I can't go back to sleep after that.

I guess I have enough to give anyone nightmares. I don't know. It's awful. I'm afraid that he will do something like that. But he probably won't be bothered.

I'm going to fix some coffee and sit on the back porch, listen to the birds wake up. I hope that will calm my nerves.

Nice Day

Was a nice day today.

It rained earlier and I went for a walk. I've been quite productive.

Everything is put away that had been scattered around. Even got almost all the unpacking done.

Starting to pick up some work. Thought I'd visit a few more local places soon and see if I can scrounge anything up.

Not a word from Billy. I got my alimony though.

Nothing else odd has happened either. No weird staring feeling, no trashing the place.

Maybe someone picked the lock, was looking for something, realized they were in the wrong place and left. But how could they have locked the door? Could be someone still has a key.

Landlord came by this morning and changed the locks. So that should take care of anything like that.

I'm learning to cook. Can't live on takeout all the time. It's not going very well.

Don't Know

I don't know what to think.

It wasn't Billy.

He's got an alibi. And more than one. He never left town to go to my apartment. He was at a friend's, a party, a bar. Nowhere near my place. And since he's seen on security cameras, it's pretty clear he's not lying.

So who did it?

Home Again

I'm home now.

I got everything fixed where my clients were concerned. That's one good thing.

Billy was trying to claim that he didn't have to pay me alimony because I was cheating on him, something my lawyer and I were easily able to disprove. Especially since the pictures Billy used as evidence show my landlord going into my apartment to clean it before I even moved in. So the judge threw it out, and reminded Billy he was not to be near my apartment and that he had a week to pay me. I didn't have to see him thankfully. But I can imagine how angry he was.

Especially since I didn't come home until today. Wednesday and Friday I was dealing with lawyers and judges. Thursday I dealt with clients. Saturday I spent with my mom and Sunday with Jennifer and Melissa, just sitting around, watching movies, eating junk food, and gossiping.

Melissa drove me home. I'm glad she was with me.

My apartment was trashed!

At some point, someone got in and trashed it. Papers were everywhere. Boxes I hadn't quite gotten around to unpacking yet were open and stuff pulled out. Clothes were pulled out of their drawers. Even the toilet paper had been unrolled!

There was no sign of forced entry. In fact, I unlocked the door and we walked into the mess. All the windows were locked.

I wanted to check things out. I figured it was Billy and that he was around somewhere waiting to get a good laugh. Melissa made me go back outside though and we called police.

The few neighbors home over the weekend hadn't seen anyone new. No one heard anything. Only I, the landlord, the maintenance man, and the pest control guy have keys. They all checked out fine. Police didn't even find a fingerprint. that shouldn't have been there.

Nothing seems to have been taken. I reported it to the my lawyer and found out the police had already thought of Billy and were checking him out.

I'm sure it was him. Pissed off he has to pay alimony. So he trashed my place to scare me.

Starting to Pick Up

Work is starting to pick up.

The local paper bought my article and wants to talk to me about doing more work for them. That's a good thing.

I also have been getting a few leads and a few assignments online. I think I might be able to make this work after all.

I won't be updating for a bit. I've got to go back to the city and see my lawyer - Billy is wanting to not pay alimony, despite the fact that he can easily afford it and owes it to me. He was ordered by the judge to pay it, so he'll have to. He's just being a jerk.

While I'm there I'm going to be staying at a hotel. Room service! And trying to relax in between having to deal with Billy. My lawyer is going to try his best to keep it where I don't have to actually see him, let alone talk to him. And he isn't supposed to come near me, by court order.

I'm also going to take care of some loose ends that have popped up at a couple places I used to work. One place doesn't seem to remember getting the memo about where to send my check and another is trying to argue about my telecommuting. So we'll see. I'll get it straightened out.

Seems Better

So, this weekend was a lot of fun. We cooked out. Well, we tried. Melissa burned everything and we ended up at Olive Garden instead. Which was fine. We all ate like pigs.

We went out and saw fireworks at the same old place we always did. Mom and I have a lot of memories at the field where they set off fireworks in the town I great up in.

And now I'm home.

Last Friday Jennifer did the house blessing. She did exactly what she said she was going to. Lavender, the whole bit. And odd as it may sound, I have to admit, I feel better about being here.

So far, nothing. It doesn't feel like something is staring at me, or breathing down my neck. Just me. I like that.

Jennifer said maybe what happened was that the blessing sealed out something negative. Or maybe it just helped me to stop hanging onto bad things that were making me more nervous than I needed to be.

Melissa of course turned it into a joke. She said if it was a ghost, then hopefully it wouldn't eat everything and make a mess. Yeah, way to make me feel better.

I think Jennifer is right. Something about that simple ritual made me feel better, so now things seem just fine. I was just nervous about something so new and the mention of ghosts and being on my own for the first time that I made things up.

Blessing

Jennifer is coming by today. She's going to do the blessing and then drive me back with her to see my mom. Jennifer still lives just a few blocks away from mom. We're going to meet up with Melissa and then all hang out at mom's all weekend and then go see fireworks. Monday I'll be back home.